Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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