Who did Billy Mays play for?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
