living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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