if you like me you must not know who I am
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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