Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
