You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize