I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
