problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
