OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize