I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
