fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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