With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
