What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
