I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
