Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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