i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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