she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
They have beer where we have blood.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
