you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
