Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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