If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You need Xanax blowdarts
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
