Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
