Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And then he peed in my hair
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