My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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