and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
