How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
