Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
