the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
