"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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