I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
