Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
