i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
