trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You left your phone here
Wait...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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