Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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