is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
