White coat. Heels.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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