I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
