I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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