like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
50% drunk capacity currently
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize