carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
