Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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