it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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