If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i have two assholes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
