end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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