She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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