I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
