Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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