Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
