pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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