i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
