I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
