He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
worst night to have a conscience
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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