I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
