I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
