for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
