Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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