why didn't you poke me back
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
