I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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