i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
