I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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